parklife

It seems like only yesterday that we ordered tickets to Parklife down on Birrarung Marr. Tomorrow it actually happens, and I have to say I'm a little excited. Since moving to Melbourne I haven't been to many dance events, sticking mainly to pubs playing top 40. We've managed to see Ed Rush, Rennie Pilgrem, Grooverider and A.Skillz at different nights over the past few years, but with Krafty Kuts and Stanton Warriors on the same stage it reminds me of Fabric where you could see half a dozen top notch DJs for the price of a couple of pints.
except this time it's $80...
and outside..
and I'm so out of practise that I don't think I'll be on my feet for a lot of the time.
whatever doesn't kill you huh?

Trav is taking his camera, so I'll be able to steal some pics off his site and post them here once they're up :)


Will update on Sunday, as I'm pretty sure I'll be at home for most of the day.

intestinal bypass

Yesterday I ate a dodgy chicken sandwich. I'm pretty sure it was the chicken sammie, but Deb had one from the same bird and felt fine.
I didn't feel fine.

I've spent most of my time in the toilet since 2pm yesterday and I've got to say I'm over it! My arse is red raw, proving that the all seeing all knowing "Intelligent" designer, royally fucked up when she designed my insides. Surely there's a better way to digest food than to melt it down with acid, and if not, why not make your sphincter a bit more bloody resilient? I would happily transplant the calluses on my heels onto my butt hole if I thought it would give me a bit of relief.
I mean what's the deal with designing me to enjoy eating curries and spicy food but punishing me when they come out again? Sometimes I swear that my insides see the vindaloo coming and rearrange things so that my intestines aren't even part of the equation. There's no chance in hell that curry can make it through 9 metres of twisted flesh tubing without losing any of it's heat!

Artist's Rendition:

birthday

The big hand on my biological clock clicked over again today; one more shuffling step towards grey hair, wrinkles and bladder control problems. There's something debilitating about being constantly aware of your own mortality, it's just not a nice way to live. My brain is still young enough to remember the invincible feeling of my early twenties, but my body aches just thinking about what I used to get up to.

I guess 29 isn't a bad age to be, you can stop drinking whenever you want without falling victim to peer-pressure. Although it's probably not because you're more mature, it's merely because you can't stay up late enough to drink that much any more. When I was 21, going out at 11.30 was the norm. 8 years later, if I'm not back by 11.30, you'd better start calling the hospitals, because I must have been mugged to have stayed out that late.

Anyway, so that I can watch the seconds tick over in the year before my 30th, Deb got me this cool watch:

hangovers are fun

The day is finally drawing to a close and not a minute too soon.

I represented my team at our divisional awards dinner last night (we won "Team of the Year" at our business unit's awards night a few months ago). We didn't win, but I got a whole team's worth of wine down my gullet.

Today I was hungover.



God only knows why they chose a Thursday night, but I made it to work on time and lasted all day. I could've done without the 2 hour (or was it 2.5 hour) workshop in the afternoon, but I guess whatever doesn't kill you....

I should probably do a little more work before I go home.

cabinet part xiv

Built the computer on Monday night and it's got to be the easiest part of the project so far! I had flashbacks to my polytech days where we had to change jumper settings depending on the chip speed we were using, create boot discs so we could install the cdrom drivers, which would in turn let us install windows, but only after manually partitioning the hard drive...
That last paragraph will probably only make sense to a few people I know, so don't worry if you're not one of them. All you need to know is that this time it took longer to install Windows than it did to build the PC.

Tonight, I hope to get all of the MAME software installed so it runs seamlessly. Hopefully you won't see any Windows screens at all before you're presented with a game list to choose from. The one problem I'm having is that you can't turn the PC on using just the mouse, even though I've selected it in the bios settings. Maybe I'll just wire up another control panel button to be used as the comp's power button....
Shit, I don't have any spares and it's not worth ordering just one button. I'll have to think of something else.

Update: Picked up a flourescent light fitting for behind the marquee. I guess I'll have to start thinking about what artwork I want up there.

fatty fat fat fat fatty fatty fat fat

There was a fat guy on my packed train today with a bag in one hand and a pack of Twisties in the other. He could have put away the salty snack treats to have a spare hand to hold on with. He instead chose to put his backpack down so he could gorge himself on crap. He almost fell over twice before Richmond, but only once he'd upended the Twisties, spilling the last crumbs into his gaping mouth (and down his front) would he wipe his hands on his jacket and grab a handle.

There's something about seeing big fat people eat that makes me nauseus. It's like watching someone stab themself in the chest with a knife, except you can't do anything about it without offending someone. Only about 2 percent of obese people can actually claim they have a glandular problem. The rest of them eat too fucking much. True story.
There should be a fat tax, where the higher bmi you have, the higher medicare surcharge you have to pay. People talk about taxing things like McDonald's and Coke to try and get people off the junk food, but has that worked with alcohol and tobacco? No. People drink more now than they used to and it's the health risks, not the cost that makes most people stop smoking. (I realise that booze and fag tax is just a cash cow for governments, but let's pretend you understand where I'm coming from)

Taxing products won't work, but if you're made to weigh in when filing your tax return, people might think twice about licking a chip packet to get the last grains of sugar and salt out of it. The fuckers that let themselves get too fat will end up getting stung at the end of the year. At the very least, they'll be too short of cash to impulse buy a couple of Snickers, at best they will look at changing their lifestyle to avoid the hefty tax bill every 12 months.

verdict: food for thought

cabinet part xiii

It was a bit of a slack weekend this weekend. I had a bit of a hangover on Saturday, so it took a while to get downstairs. All I ended up doing was a bit of bogging. At least that puts me a step closer to painting.

I also got the keyboard drawer door done, the latches and handle are on (the handle will be painted wood, so should hide the drawer a little)

Sunday, I was in town with Deb and decided to get some new speakers, as my old desktop ones are shot, and didn't have any speaker grills to cover the holes. They were only $50, so didn't break the bank and run fine off the old desktop amp too. I might upgrade that one day, but not till I've recovered from everything else.

another aussie icon gone

Bloody hell, they're dropping like flies over here!
Reports are saying that Peter Brock has died in a car crash in WA.

new job

Deb's been a bit jittery the last few weeks, waiting to see if she'd get a job she applied for. I've had to put up with a nervous demeanour, late night "can't sleep" episodes, mild depression and complaints about all sorts of crap. She finally had her interview yesterday, and I'm proud to say that she got the job! Woo!!

Hopefully that means plenty of restful night from now on.

cabinet part xii

I ordered the computer parts for the cab today :) It's probably a little over spec for what it'll be doing, but when they create a 64 bit version of MAME, I'll be ready and waiting. It's a little sad that the machine I'm building to emulate Pacman and Space Invaders will have ten times more grunt than my main computer. I'd hate it to feel neglected, so I'll have to make sure I upgrade that soon as well.

crikey!

This just in:
There is a rumour that Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin has met his maker.

Update to follow

Update: It's now on The Age website which lends a little credibility to the rumour. It sounds like he got a stingray's barb through his chest.
Also, News.com.au

I guess he was always going to go out doing something a bit different. I can't see him being satisfied with a simple car crash, or falling down some stairs.

He was definitely a character, I'll give him that.

disapproving rabbits

The title says it all.

Disapproving Rabbits

cabinet part xi

All of the woodwork is now done (except for that damn speaker panel, which I forgot to do again). I spent hours working on the housing for the control panel (and the control panel itself), but I think it paid off. I'm a bit more comfortable working with wood than I was a few months ago, but there's no way I can afford to rush things as there wasn't enough wood to start another panel if I stuffed it up.
The panel slopes slightly, and it's at just the right height (for me anyway. Screw the rest of you!). It turns out that the trackball did have leads to hook up mouse buttons, so the two black buttons above the ball are them. The two above those are MAME function keys.
I think I'll set up one as ESC (to get back to the main menu) and the other as a shift key. With that one held down, you can map anything you want to any of the other buttons (Volume up/down, pause etc)

As the budget is pretty much blown out, I don't think I'll be buying fancy speakers and an amp at this stage. I'll just use the old computer speakers and sub that I have lying around. They're not anything amazing, but that will probably add to the authenticity of the game sounds.
Next weekend: bog up all of the screw holes and prepare everything for painting. (shit, and finish that damn speaker panel!)
This week: Think about how to tidy up the controls. I'm thinking a thin sheet of plexiglass with some artwork under it. Failing that, a piece of self adhesive laminate would work just as well.

cabinet part x

I got impatient on Thursday waiting for the weekend to come. The solution? Book in an annual leave day at the last minute and spent Friday in the shed :)
It hit 25° after lunch, so it was really nice working downstairs and my weekly walk to Mitre 10 was great.
The result was that I got loads of work done. I pulled last weekend's work apart to fix the not-as-square-as-it-should-be problem I had. The keyboard drawer design was changed a little to make it function better as a computer instead of just a games machine: The drawer front now swings down instead of being attached to the sliding part of the drawer (does that have a name??). The only problem I had was discovering that MDF doesn't like screws put in the end of it, so I had to recess the hinges on the outside. I'll cover those up with a bit of bog, so it won't be visible on the outside. Hopefully I'll never have to remove the drawer for any reason, because it'll be near impossible!

Deb arrived home at just the right time to help put the sides on. After that, it was straight forward attaching the back and top pieces.

Today's work will hopefully be fitting the speaker panel and getting started on the controls. This is going to be the biggest part, because the layout has to be spot on. If I put a joystick in the wrong place, it'll make playing uncomfortable and will just piss me off.
Just realised that I didn't get button inputs hooked up to the trackball. That's going to make it hard to use as a mouse.

Bugger, I'm off now to see how I can get around that.

cabinet part ix

On Saturday I used a router for the first time. I've never even seen one being used before, so I was a bit nervous that I was going to cock it up. It turns out it's the easiest tool in the world. The t-molding slots are now cut, and it took all of 5 minutes for all 4 panels. I spent more time setting up, so it was a bit of an anti climax really.
Sunday afternoon was spent working out in the sun, which was nice. I got the bottom part of the cabinet built, but will have to spend almost as much time again next weekend pulling it to bits and trying again: I've learned the hard way that our garage floor isn't a perfectly even surface, so the two sides aren't as square as I would've liked. Luckily I added pine reinforcement to the original design, so it should be easy to fix with a few small, well placed blocks.

Wish me luck

cabinet part viii

Just a quick update:
The parts I ordered arrived today, so Deb sent me a pic at work to make sure everything is what I expected. A couple of buttons for pinball flippers, the trackball (which works as a mouse in Windows), a coinmech and T-molding. Looks like it's all there
Hopefully the weather will hold out tomorrow so I can get back into it. Now that we're getting into the rainy season, I want to get it finished as soon as possible. I just don't trust our garage to stay watertight during some of the big showers.

that's not a knife, this is a knife

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ricky gervais podcasts

It's been a bit of a long wait, but the podcasts are back! The last release was at the start of April, and we've had to do without Karl Pilkington's unique views of the world for those four months.
If you've never heard the show, it's essentially 3 guys sitting around talking shit. It helps that two of those guys are award winning comedians (Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant) and the other is some kind of savant. I have never heard someone so honest and transparent, which makes every observation just that much funnier. Asked whether he would feel comfortable touching another man's testicles (after a head swap operation), he said it would be ok because it would be another man's hands as well.
To finish, here's a poem he wrote after reading that moths are blind and that a prehistoric body was dug up that appeared to have used a type of hair gel:

If moths had eyes would they be happier?
How do they know they're not dead?
Cavemen hunting for food
But not before they style the hair on their head

What would last longer in dinosaur times?
A blind man didn't stand a chance
Not with all them rocks about
I'd rather be a blind moth

Genius

gould's book of fish

For a change, I thought I'd read a bit of award winning literature during my commuting instead of just the newspaper over someone's shoulder. Maybe I should either stick to what I know, or work my way up to this kind of flowery stuff. Here's the first paragraph to give you an idea of what I had to trawl through (haha, trawl. Unintentional fish joke... ah, whatever)

My wonder upon discovering the Book of Fish remains with me yet, luminous as the phosphorescent marbling that seized my eyes that strange morning; glittering as those eerie swirls that coloured my mind and enchanted my soul — which there and then began the process of unravelling my heart and, worse still, my life into the poor, scraggy skein that is this story you are about to read.

I was going to stick a bit of a review in here, but I was never a fan of English and hated writing at school. Buggered if I'm going to do it in my own time!

Verdict: flowery but different enough from my usual fare to keep me interested.

ban comic sans

I thought I was alone, but I have found kindred spirits at bancomicsans.com.
From restaurant menus to staff newsletters to school exams, Comic Sans has pervaded society to the point of suffocation. In 10 short years it has become the default font for the majority of people across every profession. I remember a real estate company in London who used it for their logo. Imagine seeing this shit in metre tall letters...
Join me in getting this font off all documents and signage. It should only ever be on kids toys or kindergarten newsletters (note, not school websites. Sorry Andy Bay School, you really have to get rid of that purple comic font. Pull your web designer out of their maths class for 5 minutes and get them to change it.)