saddle sores

Two weeks ago Deb and I bought bikes with the intention of cycling to work 4 times a week. This Tuesday gone, I managed to have breakfast, bike to the gym, workout for an hour, get myself cleaned up then get my ass to work well before 9am. I really enjoyed it, so I should be able to keep it up.

We're going home for Christmas, so the plan is to get myself in shape before then. I was pretty soft and overweight when I went home last year, so hopefully this time I'll be a bit tidier.

parklife: after the djs went home

We had fantastic weather on Saturday. The sun was out and there was barely any wind. The rain that had been forecast during the week never arrived and by 12.30pm I was drunk. You couldn't ask for a better start for a dance (music) festival.
Hmm, I was going to leave a review of the evening here, but my memory of it all is strangely fuzzy. The bits I remember:

• I had a great time and drunk loads of beer (+ a bit of miscellaneous)
• I only had to pee twice (or was it three times?)
• We saw Ash & Rox after a 12 month hiatus (woo!)
• Stanton Warriors were flat (I think there was only one of them)
• Trav bought a cheese-cutter
  
• John So (the lord mayor of Melbourne) came on stage to say hi (the crowd went ape-shit!)
• Krafty Kuts played a get-the-fuck-out-of-my-club set that really dragged and at the end played a DnB remix of Golddigger that the sound system distorted almost out of recognition
• I wore out part of my shoe dancing on the temporary plastic flooring

Here are some pics.

Trav and Me. Possibly munted at this point.


Deb and me (or is it Deb and I?)


Some random Jamaican dude (hehe, it's Ash)
Geez I've got a big head!

parklife

It seems like only yesterday that we ordered tickets to Parklife down on Birrarung Marr. Tomorrow it actually happens, and I have to say I'm a little excited. Since moving to Melbourne I haven't been to many dance events, sticking mainly to pubs playing top 40. We've managed to see Ed Rush, Rennie Pilgrem, Grooverider and A.Skillz at different nights over the past few years, but with Krafty Kuts and Stanton Warriors on the same stage it reminds me of Fabric where you could see half a dozen top notch DJs for the price of a couple of pints.
except this time it's $80...
and outside..
and I'm so out of practise that I don't think I'll be on my feet for a lot of the time.
whatever doesn't kill you huh?

Trav is taking his camera, so I'll be able to steal some pics off his site and post them here once they're up :)


Will update on Sunday, as I'm pretty sure I'll be at home for most of the day.

intestinal bypass

Yesterday I ate a dodgy chicken sandwich. I'm pretty sure it was the chicken sammie, but Deb had one from the same bird and felt fine.
I didn't feel fine.

I've spent most of my time in the toilet since 2pm yesterday and I've got to say I'm over it! My arse is red raw, proving that the all seeing all knowing "Intelligent" designer, royally fucked up when she designed my insides. Surely there's a better way to digest food than to melt it down with acid, and if not, why not make your sphincter a bit more bloody resilient? I would happily transplant the calluses on my heels onto my butt hole if I thought it would give me a bit of relief.
I mean what's the deal with designing me to enjoy eating curries and spicy food but punishing me when they come out again? Sometimes I swear that my insides see the vindaloo coming and rearrange things so that my intestines aren't even part of the equation. There's no chance in hell that curry can make it through 9 metres of twisted flesh tubing without losing any of it's heat!

Artist's Rendition:

birthday

The big hand on my biological clock clicked over again today; one more shuffling step towards grey hair, wrinkles and bladder control problems. There's something debilitating about being constantly aware of your own mortality, it's just not a nice way to live. My brain is still young enough to remember the invincible feeling of my early twenties, but my body aches just thinking about what I used to get up to.

I guess 29 isn't a bad age to be, you can stop drinking whenever you want without falling victim to peer-pressure. Although it's probably not because you're more mature, it's merely because you can't stay up late enough to drink that much any more. When I was 21, going out at 11.30 was the norm. 8 years later, if I'm not back by 11.30, you'd better start calling the hospitals, because I must have been mugged to have stayed out that late.

Anyway, so that I can watch the seconds tick over in the year before my 30th, Deb got me this cool watch:

hangovers are fun

The day is finally drawing to a close and not a minute too soon.

I represented my team at our divisional awards dinner last night (we won "Team of the Year" at our business unit's awards night a few months ago). We didn't win, but I got a whole team's worth of wine down my gullet.

Today I was hungover.



God only knows why they chose a Thursday night, but I made it to work on time and lasted all day. I could've done without the 2 hour (or was it 2.5 hour) workshop in the afternoon, but I guess whatever doesn't kill you....

I should probably do a little more work before I go home.

cabinet part xiv

Built the computer on Monday night and it's got to be the easiest part of the project so far! I had flashbacks to my polytech days where we had to change jumper settings depending on the chip speed we were using, create boot discs so we could install the cdrom drivers, which would in turn let us install windows, but only after manually partitioning the hard drive...
That last paragraph will probably only make sense to a few people I know, so don't worry if you're not one of them. All you need to know is that this time it took longer to install Windows than it did to build the PC.

Tonight, I hope to get all of the MAME software installed so it runs seamlessly. Hopefully you won't see any Windows screens at all before you're presented with a game list to choose from. The one problem I'm having is that you can't turn the PC on using just the mouse, even though I've selected it in the bios settings. Maybe I'll just wire up another control panel button to be used as the comp's power button....
Shit, I don't have any spares and it's not worth ordering just one button. I'll have to think of something else.

Update: Picked up a flourescent light fitting for behind the marquee. I guess I'll have to start thinking about what artwork I want up there.

fatty fat fat fat fatty fatty fat fat

There was a fat guy on my packed train today with a bag in one hand and a pack of Twisties in the other. He could have put away the salty snack treats to have a spare hand to hold on with. He instead chose to put his backpack down so he could gorge himself on crap. He almost fell over twice before Richmond, but only once he'd upended the Twisties, spilling the last crumbs into his gaping mouth (and down his front) would he wipe his hands on his jacket and grab a handle.

There's something about seeing big fat people eat that makes me nauseus. It's like watching someone stab themself in the chest with a knife, except you can't do anything about it without offending someone. Only about 2 percent of obese people can actually claim they have a glandular problem. The rest of them eat too fucking much. True story.
There should be a fat tax, where the higher bmi you have, the higher medicare surcharge you have to pay. People talk about taxing things like McDonald's and Coke to try and get people off the junk food, but has that worked with alcohol and tobacco? No. People drink more now than they used to and it's the health risks, not the cost that makes most people stop smoking. (I realise that booze and fag tax is just a cash cow for governments, but let's pretend you understand where I'm coming from)

Taxing products won't work, but if you're made to weigh in when filing your tax return, people might think twice about licking a chip packet to get the last grains of sugar and salt out of it. The fuckers that let themselves get too fat will end up getting stung at the end of the year. At the very least, they'll be too short of cash to impulse buy a couple of Snickers, at best they will look at changing their lifestyle to avoid the hefty tax bill every 12 months.

verdict: food for thought

cabinet part xiii

It was a bit of a slack weekend this weekend. I had a bit of a hangover on Saturday, so it took a while to get downstairs. All I ended up doing was a bit of bogging. At least that puts me a step closer to painting.

I also got the keyboard drawer door done, the latches and handle are on (the handle will be painted wood, so should hide the drawer a little)

Sunday, I was in town with Deb and decided to get some new speakers, as my old desktop ones are shot, and didn't have any speaker grills to cover the holes. They were only $50, so didn't break the bank and run fine off the old desktop amp too. I might upgrade that one day, but not till I've recovered from everything else.

another aussie icon gone

Bloody hell, they're dropping like flies over here!
Reports are saying that Peter Brock has died in a car crash in WA.

new job

Deb's been a bit jittery the last few weeks, waiting to see if she'd get a job she applied for. I've had to put up with a nervous demeanour, late night "can't sleep" episodes, mild depression and complaints about all sorts of crap. She finally had her interview yesterday, and I'm proud to say that she got the job! Woo!!

Hopefully that means plenty of restful night from now on.

cabinet part xii

I ordered the computer parts for the cab today :) It's probably a little over spec for what it'll be doing, but when they create a 64 bit version of MAME, I'll be ready and waiting. It's a little sad that the machine I'm building to emulate Pacman and Space Invaders will have ten times more grunt than my main computer. I'd hate it to feel neglected, so I'll have to make sure I upgrade that soon as well.

crikey!

This just in:
There is a rumour that Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin has met his maker.

Update to follow

Update: It's now on The Age website which lends a little credibility to the rumour. It sounds like he got a stingray's barb through his chest.
Also, News.com.au

I guess he was always going to go out doing something a bit different. I can't see him being satisfied with a simple car crash, or falling down some stairs.

He was definitely a character, I'll give him that.

disapproving rabbits

The title says it all.

Disapproving Rabbits

cabinet part xi

All of the woodwork is now done (except for that damn speaker panel, which I forgot to do again). I spent hours working on the housing for the control panel (and the control panel itself), but I think it paid off. I'm a bit more comfortable working with wood than I was a few months ago, but there's no way I can afford to rush things as there wasn't enough wood to start another panel if I stuffed it up.
The panel slopes slightly, and it's at just the right height (for me anyway. Screw the rest of you!). It turns out that the trackball did have leads to hook up mouse buttons, so the two black buttons above the ball are them. The two above those are MAME function keys.
I think I'll set up one as ESC (to get back to the main menu) and the other as a shift key. With that one held down, you can map anything you want to any of the other buttons (Volume up/down, pause etc)

As the budget is pretty much blown out, I don't think I'll be buying fancy speakers and an amp at this stage. I'll just use the old computer speakers and sub that I have lying around. They're not anything amazing, but that will probably add to the authenticity of the game sounds.
Next weekend: bog up all of the screw holes and prepare everything for painting. (shit, and finish that damn speaker panel!)
This week: Think about how to tidy up the controls. I'm thinking a thin sheet of plexiglass with some artwork under it. Failing that, a piece of self adhesive laminate would work just as well.

cabinet part x

I got impatient on Thursday waiting for the weekend to come. The solution? Book in an annual leave day at the last minute and spent Friday in the shed :)
It hit 25° after lunch, so it was really nice working downstairs and my weekly walk to Mitre 10 was great.
The result was that I got loads of work done. I pulled last weekend's work apart to fix the not-as-square-as-it-should-be problem I had. The keyboard drawer design was changed a little to make it function better as a computer instead of just a games machine: The drawer front now swings down instead of being attached to the sliding part of the drawer (does that have a name??). The only problem I had was discovering that MDF doesn't like screws put in the end of it, so I had to recess the hinges on the outside. I'll cover those up with a bit of bog, so it won't be visible on the outside. Hopefully I'll never have to remove the drawer for any reason, because it'll be near impossible!

Deb arrived home at just the right time to help put the sides on. After that, it was straight forward attaching the back and top pieces.

Today's work will hopefully be fitting the speaker panel and getting started on the controls. This is going to be the biggest part, because the layout has to be spot on. If I put a joystick in the wrong place, it'll make playing uncomfortable and will just piss me off.
Just realised that I didn't get button inputs hooked up to the trackball. That's going to make it hard to use as a mouse.

Bugger, I'm off now to see how I can get around that.

cabinet part ix

On Saturday I used a router for the first time. I've never even seen one being used before, so I was a bit nervous that I was going to cock it up. It turns out it's the easiest tool in the world. The t-molding slots are now cut, and it took all of 5 minutes for all 4 panels. I spent more time setting up, so it was a bit of an anti climax really.
Sunday afternoon was spent working out in the sun, which was nice. I got the bottom part of the cabinet built, but will have to spend almost as much time again next weekend pulling it to bits and trying again: I've learned the hard way that our garage floor isn't a perfectly even surface, so the two sides aren't as square as I would've liked. Luckily I added pine reinforcement to the original design, so it should be easy to fix with a few small, well placed blocks.

Wish me luck

cabinet part viii

Just a quick update:
The parts I ordered arrived today, so Deb sent me a pic at work to make sure everything is what I expected. A couple of buttons for pinball flippers, the trackball (which works as a mouse in Windows), a coinmech and T-molding. Looks like it's all there
Hopefully the weather will hold out tomorrow so I can get back into it. Now that we're getting into the rainy season, I want to get it finished as soon as possible. I just don't trust our garage to stay watertight during some of the big showers.

that's not a knife, this is a knife

Product Page

ricky gervais podcasts

It's been a bit of a long wait, but the podcasts are back! The last release was at the start of April, and we've had to do without Karl Pilkington's unique views of the world for those four months.
If you've never heard the show, it's essentially 3 guys sitting around talking shit. It helps that two of those guys are award winning comedians (Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant) and the other is some kind of savant. I have never heard someone so honest and transparent, which makes every observation just that much funnier. Asked whether he would feel comfortable touching another man's testicles (after a head swap operation), he said it would be ok because it would be another man's hands as well.
To finish, here's a poem he wrote after reading that moths are blind and that a prehistoric body was dug up that appeared to have used a type of hair gel:

If moths had eyes would they be happier?
How do they know they're not dead?
Cavemen hunting for food
But not before they style the hair on their head

What would last longer in dinosaur times?
A blind man didn't stand a chance
Not with all them rocks about
I'd rather be a blind moth

Genius

gould's book of fish

For a change, I thought I'd read a bit of award winning literature during my commuting instead of just the newspaper over someone's shoulder. Maybe I should either stick to what I know, or work my way up to this kind of flowery stuff. Here's the first paragraph to give you an idea of what I had to trawl through (haha, trawl. Unintentional fish joke... ah, whatever)

My wonder upon discovering the Book of Fish remains with me yet, luminous as the phosphorescent marbling that seized my eyes that strange morning; glittering as those eerie swirls that coloured my mind and enchanted my soul — which there and then began the process of unravelling my heart and, worse still, my life into the poor, scraggy skein that is this story you are about to read.

I was going to stick a bit of a review in here, but I was never a fan of English and hated writing at school. Buggered if I'm going to do it in my own time!

Verdict: flowery but different enough from my usual fare to keep me interested.

ban comic sans

I thought I was alone, but I have found kindred spirits at bancomicsans.com.
From restaurant menus to staff newsletters to school exams, Comic Sans has pervaded society to the point of suffocation. In 10 short years it has become the default font for the majority of people across every profession. I remember a real estate company in London who used it for their logo. Imagine seeing this shit in metre tall letters...
Join me in getting this font off all documents and signage. It should only ever be on kids toys or kindergarten newsletters (note, not school websites. Sorry Andy Bay School, you really have to get rid of that purple comic font. Pull your web designer out of their maths class for 5 minutes and get them to change it.)

once were still are warriors

So there's a bit of controversy at home at the moment: A researcher is claiming that a "warrior" gene is being carried by a large number of Maori, which may be responsible for aggressive behaviour.
Instead of joining in on the heated discussion, here's a dog dressed as a rabbit:

census

It was Census night in Australia tonight. Finally, I got to enter my real religion:

what not to do

Some guy has pulled together a bunch of MAME cabinets that have serious issues.
Hopefully mine doesn't end up on there.
(Click the image to go to the site)

comic stuff

It's nice to have a laugh now and then, so those who have my sense of humour will enjoy this site (also, those who have my sense of humour are asked to return it)
The Perry Bible Fellowship


And if you've got a bit of geek in you, some of these are funny as well
Penny Arcade

a bunch of wank

Don't like walking or riding a bike to raise money for good causes? Can't bake a cake to save your ass? Most charity fundraising involves a lot of walking around selling badges or cheap rubber noses. Surely there's more fun ways to help charities!!

masturbate-a-thon

errr... stuff

The Vader Sessions (big file, but worth the wait)

work has it's perks

On Monday night I flew to Sydney to attend a workshop the following day. It was a much higher level than I expected, making decisions that would affect thousands of people. I got through the day by answering any question that was aimed at me and stroking my beard¹ at the right time. There's nothing else to report really, the flight up was good, the hotel was nice, the flight back was fine too. The cab driver from the airport kept falling asleep at the wheel unless I spoke to him, but I got the obligatory Krispy Kremes² home safely.

1. I don't have a beard. In fact I was clean shaven for the first time in months.
2. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts were, until last month, only available in NSW. Sydney airport does a roaring trade selling dozens at a time to passengers on their way back to Melbourne. The store that opened in Melbourne still has queues that are regularly 3 hours long.

do you know what this is?

www.canwetrustyou.co.uk

cabinet part vii

I've put in another couple of hours this weekend. It's hard to get started too early in the morning because we live so close to a lot of other people. A jigsaw can make a lot of noise when it echoes around a little car hole. It's also pretty cold until after 10.30 or so and the light gets hard to work in after about 3.30. Add in lunch and a poop here and there and that only leaves 4 hours or so a day. When you also factor in my total lack of woodworking skills, I'm pretty chuffed that I've got as much done as I have!


Anyway, I've now got every piece cut out and pretty much sanded, ready for construction. I just need to wait for the t-molding to arrive so I can make sure it fits the slot that I'll be routing out. I can't afford any more wood, so everything has to work first time!
Since it's as hard as hell to cut a straight line with a jigsaw, I'll also have to wait for my sander to arrive so I can buzz everything into shape. I tried doing it manually, by I still have soft office hands, so they didn't last long.
I might also invest in a broom...

a day off work

So... the lunch I mentioned below was a bit bigger than it should have been. I haven't been to a buffet for a long time and forgot that you're supposed to stop eating once you've had enough. We both overdid it a bit and were uncomfortable for hours afterwards.

After a walk around the Yarra to get rid of some of the pain, we found ourselves at a playground. As it wasn't school holidays and Docklands is dead at the best of times, we had the place to ourselves. With that huge lunch inside, these spinning things wreaked havoc on our insides, but it was good fun anyway.
After leaving behind a ring that I found lying around, we went to the Da Vinci machines exhibition. That guy was pretty clued up (and had quite a fixation on weapons and war).


To finish the day off, we went and saw Sione's Wedding. I wasn't expecting anything great, so was pleased to discover a nice non-offensive Kiwi(/Samoan) film. The story was totally predictable, but seeing it through the eyes of a group of Samoans gave it a different enough spin to make it enjoyable.

cabinet part vi

Had a day off work today to spend some time in the city with Deb but without the weeked crowds. Before going in though, I was granted a couple hours to myself, so I ended up downstairs. I think it was about 6° and since I don't have a large wardrobe I don't have an old jumper to wear...tshirt only. So anyway, yeah it was cold.
I think the cold must have affected me a bit, because I had to measure things half a dozen times before I was comfortable that the dimensions were right.
Anyway, here's the resulting main bottom panels (there's two of them, but they're so perfectly cut you can't tell :)


If you can't remember how it's going to look, take a look here.
Now I'm off to town for a nice relaxing lunch then off to see a Da Vinci machines exhibition.

blast from the past

As I was pretty much incapacitated on Saturday, it was mainly spent sitting around reading or watching telly. By pure chance, I turned on a channel that I never watch (Lifestyle or some crap) and saw a program called Gadget World. It looked like it was a couple of years old, but there was nothing else on so I kept watching. They had an article about the Joystick Junkies retro games night, which set a few bells ringing. I called Deb into the lounge just in time to see Leigh, an old mate from London being interviewed. What are the chances of that?

verdict: coincidence?

cabinet part v

On Sunday,  measured up and got cutting. As there's no power downstairs, I had to hang an extension cord out of the top window, but as long as it didn't rain I would be fine. Naturally, not long after I got started, hailstones the size of marbles started falling from the sky. I sat those out hoping it wouldn't rain, which didn't happen until the light got too low to work in.

The jigsaw took a little getting used to (and probably wasn't the perfect tool for the job) but I've got the two top side panels cut out and I think the rest will be a lot faster. (note the dustmask. mdf dust is a killer) After tidying up, I came inside to sit around and listen to the rain. As our garage has a couple of small leaks, after half an hour I thought I'd pop down and make sure everything was ok. I'm pleased I did, because water had come in over a metre past the edge of the door, getting everything wet. I can't imagine mdf being very forgiving when it comes to water, so hopefully I got to it soon enough and it won't be to damaged.

It's still winter here, so the sun starts going down around 4pm. By the time I get home from work, it's pretty much black, so I won't be able to do anything again until Saturday! At least now I know what to expect and have everything at my disposal so I can make some real progress. I'd like to be able to start putting things together next Sunday.

verdict: this thing is going to be as heavy as a motherfucker

dp awards

I had my divisional awards night on Friday night. It was a 70s theme, so I tracked down a safari suit, polyester shirt and afro for the occasion. Considering it was a work function it was actually quite a fun night, helped - I guess - by the fact that my team of 4 won the team of the year award. I think this means a trip to Sydney on company money to attend the Personal Insurance awards night.

Afterwards a couple of us went to the Purple Emerald for some jazz and more booze. I discovered there that mojitos are actually stronger than they appear and rocked home at a gentlemanly 3am (I was quite proud of that, until I remembered that in my heyday 3am was when the night was still getting started!)
If you look really closely, you may be able to tell which photo was taken at the start of the night and which was taken at the end.

google earth sees all

I was about to hit the sack when I found out that Google Earth now has Dunedin in it's sights!



If you have Google Earth, download the kmz files and have a nosey.
Parents
Goobs

UPDATE: I took the Google Earth files down as I couldn't be bothered updating them when we changed ISP.

cabinet part iv

Right, I've definitely spent enough for now. I ordered a few extras today that will give things a nice finish.
The trackball will be great for games like Missile Command and Centipede as well as acting as a mouse for the PC functions. Also, no games cabinet is ever going to feel authentic unless you can fill the bugger with 20 cent pieces (which will actually register the coins and add credits accordingly)

Deb must be one of the most patient people I know

that guy who dances on the internet

I've been drinking, so you probably won't find this as funny as I have:
A guy travelled around the world and filmed himself dancing. Simple concept, but I think it turned out pretty cool.
See the video here

distracted

So, it's going to be a really long week. Now that I have everything I need except the wood, I'm impatient to get started and am finding it hard to concentrate at work. I realise it's dumb to be so excited about playing Asteroids in the lounge, but it's been over three months since I decided to make this thing and finally being this close is distracting.
That's why I'm writing this at work.

I found a program that acts as a front end for the games. Instead of selecting from a list, you walk around an arcade to find the game you want. You can display the cabinets as they originally appeared with all the side art and marquees as well as showing either screenshots or short videos on the screens:

It does seem a bit intense to render a big 3D environment just so you can play pacman, but it's pretty cool and adds a new element to the system.

I've also decided to use a 21" computer monitor instead of a TV for the screen. It will look slightly less authentic than a TV would, but it also means I'll be able to use it as a computer as well.

cabinet part iii

The plan was to wait until the weather cleared up enough so I could work on the terrace. It turns out I have the patience of a fruitfly, so I went to Bunnings on Friday (a day off work) , ordered the wood and bought a bunch of other stuff to go into or onto it.
Naturally I didn't notice until I got home that one of the router pieces I bought was missing some parts, so I'll be back in tomorrow.
$1000 spent and counting. Luckily half of that was on tools, so if I decide to make another one, it won't cost anywhere near as much.

If all goes well, next Sunday will be the first cut, so fingers crossed that I still have fingers to cross by the end of the day.

Edit 16.07.06: Went back to Bunnings and exchanged the router bit. Turns out I got the wrong jigsaw blades too, so I swapped those as well. Since I was there, it seemed a waste to walk out with nothing new, so I added a bunch of bolts for the joysticks and some primer and enamel paint for the cabinet. I decided that laminate would:

1. Be too expensive
2. Be too hard to work with
3. Add yet more weight to the behemoth. It's going to be ridiculous as it is.

elephants leg

There used to be a fish 'n' chip shop in Camberwell. It wasn't bad, but nothing amazing and they closed down about 6 months ago. Every day since then, I've been wishing that someone opened a kebab shop in that location because there isn't one near enough to our flat when we're pissed. It's one of the first shops I see when I get off the train late on a Friday night and about 15 seconds walk from the local pub.
I guess all of that wishing payed off, cos a kebab shop opened up in that very shop a week or so ago.
Deb and I went to the Palace (our local pub) tonight to put the kebabs to the test. We figured, if we could get really drunk, have a kebab and not regret it 5 minutes later, it would get the seal of approval.
The lesson for this week is check the open hours of places you plan on visiting. Maybe it'll be kebabs next week instead

futurama

I just read that Futurama is being resurrected! 13 new epidodes are being made for Comedy Central.
When will Fox learn?

filler

It's been a while since I said anything worthwhile, and even longer since I've said anything interesting. With the number of times I've been drunk the last few weeks, you think there'd at least be a rant or two, maybe a treatise on the evil of 4 wheel drives, or a rambling tale of lust and perversion at the expense of the young catering students that have to walk past my office in the morning.

Nope.

Apathy is the catchword for this week.

I'm sure I'll get over it, but I don't really care either way at the moment :P